Scrutiny

"FUCK!" a word defining my depression, breaking the melancholic diagnose room. A good doctor diagnose me for having a HYPERTENSION (HTN). That day's are not any like a good days that i always had, this matter are crucial for my definition of life. Its not like i'm overrated for having this as a long-live paroxysm. Its just hardly for cure.

My mind wandering around the space searching for escape route, and my eye's stare hollowness through the wall while several of images flashing from my triumph of youth life.

"160/110 is a very high reading for a guy like your age, people could get stroke for having 200 something for the pressure reading, do take precaution in every single your doing, eating and even thinking."

I just smile emotionless.

After i take the prescription by the doctor, i walked heavily through the foyer,is most like a something weighting too heavy on my shoulder. As i reach the outside of the hospital foyer. The sky dramatically so damp and so gloomy all around. There is no birds, no clouds. i can't even hear a thing just a buzzing inside my ear.It's so irritating.

I'm going 30 by next year, without any achievement that i had, only a few from my glory rocking youth day.

And there it is, a guy standing alone on a parking lot with a few of medication paper, appointment card and prescription. I feel so numb right now, i'm so helpless. I use have a quick thinking for escaping in anything, i'm good doing that. But not for today. I'll look around the parking space, i saw a couple swollen their face for crying, i saw some people happily laughing for their relative getting better. What about me? i felt empty.

"This is not going to happen to me right now! RIGHT!". And still i am searching for an escaping route. After awhile, i came down calm, realizing the reality and i take one quick phone call to my becoming-wife.

"Sayang, i love you", "I love you too hubby".

That's my cure.