SENYUM

sukma venusku senyumlah
peluk diriku dalam mimpimu
sukma venusku mengapa
sedetik saja engkau menjelma.

malamku suram
tanpanya rembulan
engkau ke bintang

Resonance of perpetual fantasy

I've been seeing a wonderful of dream's projecting everlasting happiness. The beginning of the storyline until the end are none other fantasies of magical streaming with smiling and laughing making the character so adorable. Eventually, distract me from the awful reality.

Laughing are the greatest cure for mourn heart. Laugh as much as you can, laugh our heart out. Let the vein opened as wide as possible, let the blood rush faster through our body. Nothing can stop it, no one can disturb it.

"But why it is so hard to gain infinity of happiness, why our heart are so easy gloom in every ways, why?why?" the rebellious heart protest.

Have you try to hold your breath for an infinity count! and the "infinity" we can not count anyway. The results, if you can hold that long, you wont't able to see sunset or sunrise ever again, you're dead. In reality its balanced, most of the times we can laugh and cry in the same times. The resonance can't be exist along with us. Most of us think they may accomplish the peak and perpetual happiness. but i don't think so.

I do kept all my happiness alone, i cant achieve the everlasting. But i do kept it within myself so everytimes i hurt myself, i'll let it out. Once the wound healed, i kept it back within me.

Death. Nobody experienced it, but we will die - one day we all going to die. Not much of story i heard so far about death :) , maybe the resonance of perpetual happiness are all there. Nobody knows, if you done a good deeds for the entire life maybe you will, but maybe you won't. we're not God to state whether how good or bad we are.Maybe we should ask ourself, :).

zulhadry zolkafli

Fenomena

Hey, (^^) selamat pagi.

Susah untuk aku menjelaskan, boleh gusar mindaku.
10 jam itu kurasa bagaikan 10 tahun,
teriakku bagaikan 10 tangisan lelaki,
dengan seikhlas jiwaku perjelaskan.

Aku ambil baju merah ini untuk cenderahatiku,
sebelum aku pergi, aku mengusap telingamu,
masih sempat lagi untukku menghidu wangian rambutmu,

lantas termenung aku ke arah siling.

Kemudian cahaya menyelinap dari pintumu, membuatkan aku bergegas keluar dari perangkap hati.

Aku hanya pencinta bukannya adiwira,
jadi aku tidak melawan, walaupun aku sebenarnya jatuh hati dengan kau,
tidak kisahlah walaupun kita berkhayal tika berasmara,
tapi aku tahu bukan sekadar mainan dalam hati ini.

Aku tidak empunya kamu, dan engkau tidak empunya aku,
hanya satu malam sahaja, dan alangkah bagus kalau ia sememangnya HANYA,
benar aku boleh mendapatkan kau, tapi aku takut saat magis ini nanti pasti hilang.

Percayalah sememangnya aku mahu tunggu,
tetapi kakiku dan fizikku berlangkah pergi.

Masih lagi terngiang di dalam mindaku,
dengan engkau berpakaian berbaju merah,
hampir semua sekeliling menjadi bayang-bayang,
kerana engkau dominasi optik visualku.

Sekuat hatiku berteriak mahukan aku mengembalikan waktu itu,
dan sememangnya waktu ia berlalu pantas agar kita tidak dibelenggu dengan waktu lepas,
aku tidak tahu mengapa perlu ia datang dan pergi.

Tika aku cuba mengenali kau, aku bahagia engkau ketawa,
kerana bibirku agak sukar berbicara tentang bahagia,
dengan hanya ciuman dibibir aku tahu engkau mengerti.

Tidak mungkin malam tadi hanya mimpi,
kerana setiap sentuhan mu aku dapat rasakan hingga menusuk ke hati,
dan tika sedarku, aku merasakan setiap hembusan nafasmu dihadapan ku.

Dan hanya cuma satu hari memori indah itu, patutkah aku mempercayainya?
dan tiba waktu aku sedar nanti dan sememangnya jika ia benar, cuma hanya dengan satu hari itu,
tidak mungkin aku lepaskan engkau seorang diri.

perempuan

Saat aku meregangkan diriku menuju dalam jiwamu, aku terpesona.

Dalam keheningan merdumu, aku meresap dalam ruangan yang ada di antara fikiran dan hati kita.

Ketakutan kamu, akan aku kuburkan dalam pelukan.

Tidak ada apa yang dapat memisahkan aku dari tempat yang penuh dengan keselesaan ini.

Tetapi untuk mencapai itu.

Aku harus melalui saat yang terletak tepat di antara melepaskan dan meluhurkan cinta kamu.

Ini adalah imanku di antara pembahagian jambatan ini.

Ketika aku sampai engkau pasti jelas.

Semua yang aku lakukan adalah untuk setiap tujuan aku menyanjung kamu.

Buat selamanya dan setiap detik waktu dalam hidup ini.

Adalah untuk mencintai dirimu seumur hidupku.

Poor/pure

Does the words "Annoying" meant anything for you?.
Well, I'll guess not. To feel with a touch or to fell with a touch;
It doesn't make any sense at all. Not as a write-up, not as any quotes, more or less of course not as a saying.
I don't argue much on how poor your brain works, and i don't argue much on how pure your sincerity, especially working your ass hard for getting better and better.

To tell you the truth, it's just don't suit you, not as you thought.

And today with such a huge assumption for me to wrote, is not for pulling each others or for pointing someone. Neither of that are not my intention for me to wrote.

i got a lots of stuff for me to carried as burden, a lots of stuff for me to overseer. The weight is just mine to carry, is none for others to lift.

They are not even care as much i do.

I am a jerk, YES. Not for others but for you, I'll make an exemption.

My intention is so poor, nonetheless is worse thing ever. Sometimes it smell like a rotten rodent in your drawer, or perhaps under your bed. I hope you'll get my point.

Everybody is perfect, why I'm saying this because the most perfected creation by ALLAH is us, a "human". If any or somebody using the phrase nobody is perfect, just say this to them "YOUR BRAIN ARE CORRUPTED BY THE ALL-SEEING-EYE'S".
But if me, i simply said "FUCK YOU"

it's so simple,so pure.
@KISS- keep it simple and sweet ( i do remember one of my Prof's said Keep it simple STUPID, its nice though but not this time, maybe in my next coming-up blogs. maybe"

The point is, please don't try so hard. Don't lets your hope to high, because once you fell down, it's going to be hurt you, like's fuck.

So whether its poor or pure, just look at the mirror, and see the reflected person inside the mirror. That the pure person ever live inside you.

trust me,but don't thrust me.

zulhadry zolkafli

Veluna

Meraba aku dalam gelap,
terkial mencari jalan yang songsang,
zahirnya tiada lagi mampu untukku gagah,
batinnya tiada lagi tegak jatiku,

hampir punah, melusuhkan semua citaku,
hitam dan gelap ruang seksa ini,

hampirku kelar urat nyawaku,
hampirku tikam degup dadaku,
hampirku hantuk kepala kebatu,

beban

beban

beban

ku memikul derita ini,

tersandarku di sisi cerita melihat,
sehalusnya cahaya hijau di hujung gelap,
ku kejar dan makin dekat cahaya yang tersusun selari ke arah hujung,
penat; aku gagahkan lagi, seksa; aku dayakan lagi,
aku jerit sekuat jiwaku, aku laungkan namaMu semegah ugamaMu,

ALLAH HUAKKBAR

ALLAH HUAKKBAR

lepaskan lelah seksaku.

Nirvana - In Bloom

Sell the kids for food
Weather changes moods
Spring is here again
Reproductive glands

He’s the one
Who likes all our pretty songs
And he likes to sing along
And he likes to shoot his gun
But he knows not what it means
Knows not what it means
when I say
He’s the one
Who likes all our pretty songs
And he likes to sing along
And he likes to shoot his gun
But he knows not what it means
Knows not what it means
when I say yeeeaaahhh



We can have some more
Nature is a whore
Bruises on the fruit
Tender age in bloom

He’s the one
Who likes all our pretty songs
And he likes to sing along
And he likes to shoot his gun
But he knows not what it means
Knows not what it means
when I say
He’s the one
Who likes all our pretty songs
And he likes to sing along
And he likes to shoot his gun
But he knows not what it means
Knows not what it means
when I say yeeeaaahhh

*Guitar solo*

He’s the one
Who likes all our pretty songs
And he likes to sing along
And he likes to shoot his gun
But he knows not what it means
Knows not what it means
when I say
He’s the one
Who likes all our pretty songs
And he likes to sing along
And he likes to shoot his gun
But he knows not what it means
Knows not what it means
Knows not what it means
Knows not what it means and I say yeeeaaahhh
mmmmmmmm
mmmmmmmmm

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

All I Need - Scotch Mist Version

"all I need" - radiohead

i'm the next act
waiting in the wings

i'm an animal
trapped in your hot car

i am all the days
that you choose to ignore

you are all i need
you're all i need
i'm in the middle of your picture
lying in the reeds

i am a moth
who just wants to share your light
i'm just an insect

i only stick with you
because there are no others

you are all i need
you're all i need
i'm in the middle of your picture
lying in the reeds

it's all wrong, its all right
it's all wrong, its all right

it's all, its all

Scrutiny

"FUCK!" a word defining my depression, breaking the melancholic diagnose room. A good doctor diagnose me for having a HYPERTENSION (HTN). That day's are not any like a good days that i always had, this matter are crucial for my definition of life. Its not like i'm overrated for having this as a long-live paroxysm. Its just hardly for cure.

My mind wandering around the space searching for escape route, and my eye's stare hollowness through the wall while several of images flashing from my triumph of youth life.

"160/110 is a very high reading for a guy like your age, people could get stroke for having 200 something for the pressure reading, do take precaution in every single your doing, eating and even thinking."

I just smile emotionless.

After i take the prescription by the doctor, i walked heavily through the foyer,is most like a something weighting too heavy on my shoulder. As i reach the outside of the hospital foyer. The sky dramatically so damp and so gloomy all around. There is no birds, no clouds. i can't even hear a thing just a buzzing inside my ear.It's so irritating.

I'm going 30 by next year, without any achievement that i had, only a few from my glory rocking youth day.

And there it is, a guy standing alone on a parking lot with a few of medication paper, appointment card and prescription. I feel so numb right now, i'm so helpless. I use have a quick thinking for escaping in anything, i'm good doing that. But not for today. I'll look around the parking space, i saw a couple swollen their face for crying, i saw some people happily laughing for their relative getting better. What about me? i felt empty.

"This is not going to happen to me right now! RIGHT!". And still i am searching for an escaping route. After awhile, i came down calm, realizing the reality and i take one quick phone call to my becoming-wife.

"Sayang, i love you", "I love you too hubby".

That's my cure.

Kerat-rentas

Kau persembahkan tampak,

Menghalusi setiap garis-garis prota,

Kenapa kau dengar sahaja permintaan songsang mereka,

Adakah kau tidak kisah ego kita dicarik-carik di rentap menjadi sampah,

Sepanjang bulan aku melirik picisan - picisan kerana kehendak kau menyeksa aku.



Kau lihat kepunahan sekitar mu disebabkan nafsumu yang egois,

KIta berkumpulan bukannya sepi sendiri,

KIta rumah bukannya hanya tangga sahaja,

Hampir semua patah jiwa,

Hampir semua menjadi dungu.



Biarku kerat setiapnya menjadi sempurna,

Biarku rentasi sepanjang keratan itu menjadi sakti.